I am officially in "fuck it all" mode o.o which is a terrible mode to be in, as my biological clock makes as much sense as a bald dog walking around getting humped by cats and living pieces of cheese. SEE WHAT ITS DOING TO ME!? What the heck was that!? It was F.I.A modes fault! D:

Any ways...because of my F.I.A mode, I had an epiphany. It was just like...BAM! And suddenly I realized why my general health is really messed up.
The only time I'm really happy is when I'm drawing. Or when im with friends. but im home schooled, and my friends live ages away, so i only get to see a few of them on Sunday. sometimes a few of them wont come, so i wont see them for like...a few weeks...maybe a month or two...so i had to fill up that gap with the happiness i get from drawing.

But, I've gotten too caught up in it. I really don't care about any thing else related to my future, education or health. my sleeping pattern is devastating (i haven't slept for 26 hours D: ), i pretty much live on instant Mi Goreng Noodles (which i am pro at making) and fried squid, and the most exercise i get is a 2 hour walk to the park every few days. other then that, im sitting at the comp, or some other random desk, doodling what ever comes into my twisted 13-year-old mind. I analyzed this, and i dont like it. i dont like me. and because if that, F.I.A mode just became stonger. i care about stuff even less, and i cant help it.

but...more then anything, this is what ive been wondering: Am i taking this too seriously just because I'm not used to it? that would make sense. I'm only 13. Maybe this is just a part of life, and this weight will always be here, only to get heavier when i turn 18 and have to be independent...is that what its like? I'd like to get some opinions...

OK! ive ranted enough. I'll stop thats all ive got on my mind...



oh and this, quickly: MARIMITE! YUM! WATCH IT! *loves Marimite to death*
I've been listening to Tool a lot. i think im going insane. their music is fucking scary, and their music videos are even scarier. my mind has been numbed and ruined by the amazing bass, face paced drums and twisted, disgusting, incredible lyrics of Tool songs like "Prison Sex" and "Stinkfist". please save me lol. Jameroquai isn't helping at all...


there is now officially a Negima club icon thing there. --->